Hi there anybody who is reading….

Is there an easy way of telling if a comment is not genuine? I may have trashed or spammed some legitimate comments because they came from workplace addresses. Is it common for people to send  personal msg’s via their professional email address? I’m not allowed to access my work computer for personal reasons, so I find it a bit odd. Oh, another question, is it possible for me to get a website address for this blog so I don’t have to go to another site and click heaps of links to open it? As you can see, I’m not a techie person – very humiliating!

And does anyone know what ‘seo’ in an address means? Or what Minecraft for free is? They have come up a lot in my commenst section so I’m suspicious of them. It’s quite hard to tell that some of the comments are spam, or am I just ignorant and/or stupid? I can, at times, be a bit gullible with some things.

Changing the topic: I have fallen off the wagon since I’ve been living with my sister (since April) and am currently on a bender at the moment. While I enjoy it at the time and justify it, I also feel guilty and ashamed that I have little to no self control. After reading a friend’s blog, who goes to a 12 step programme, it has got me thinking I might look into whether there are any closeby me. Even if I haven’t quit yet it would still be good for me to hang around recovering addicts telling their success stories of sobriety. It may just inspire me; I just have to get over the “God” parts of it. I’m spiritual, just not religious.

Does anyone have any personal experience with addiction who would like to share with me? If it’s too personal to put on here, you can contact me via pm on PsychCentral, username Choocha. Thanks.

I admit to kinda using my prescription meds (there are many) kinda badly/irresponsibly, and also to taking a semi-regular (at the moment) illicit substance. I have managed to stay pretty clear from alcohol for a long time now. But it seems I always need to have at least one addiction in my life; maybe not a physical addiction, but always a psychological one. Plus I still smoke cigarettes. I quit once for 5 years and took it back up when going through a bad depresssion – biggest mistake ever. I’m thinking of trying E-Cigs. Has anybody got any input on them?

I went to the doctor today because my work want me to get a clearance before being allowed to return to work, because of me possibly having a c-diff infection. The doc prescribed antibiotics as a precaution and sent me home with a poo cup, because I couldn’t do it at his office.

Does anyone else have phobia’s about normal medical procedures ie pooing in a cup, gynechological procedures, mammograms etc? And I avoid going to and procrastinate about going to the doctor unless I absolutely have to, and then it’s usually far worse.

I haven’t had a pap smear or STD screen for about 7 years and I never phoned back about my last results, because I assumed they’d phone me if there was something wrong. Yeah, I know, no need to lecture me. I know that was reckless.

I should really call this blog Choocha’s Confessional because it seems that I’m owning up to all of my dirty laundry and exposing some quite personal stuff, but I assume that’s the kind of stuff people may find interesting; not just mundane, boring, routine stuff. Am I right?

I will get into more nitty-gritty if I hear back from anyone. i don’t really mind what I tell you because you are probably sitting on the other side of the world, so I feel quite free to share – possibly a silly assumption, but oh well.

Something else which is a bit eeeewy: I think I may have the startings of head lice again. I keep on catching them from work, which isn’t the most hygienic place. I have now caught lice 2, maybe 3 times, staph infection twice, and now whatever this stomach bug is. I really feel like I should be filing workcover claims and shouldn’t have to use my personal sick leave. We obviously aren’t all following the same hygiene precautions and cleanliness practises at work for so many infectious things to be going around.

It’s getting so bad now that I’m finally sick of it and will be looking for a new job when I finally pull my finger out and update my CV etc.

My bp is quite allover the place right now. I’m suffering from frequent bouts of just not wanting to be alive anymore to brief periods of thinking about the future, so it is very confusing. I think my main feelings may be depression and anxiety, because I’m sleeping on and off either too much or not enough, have no energy, am isolating myself; plus anxiety/fear is my default emotion when I feel out of control of myself.

May I ask if the people who do read this have found this blog through PsychCentral or what search they used to find it? Just curious.

I hope to hear back from someone/anyone ( just not spammers) soon please. I am very lonely and bored and would love some company and new friends. Bye for now xo